ASEXUAL. NOT BROKEN.
I have never been sexually attracted to anybody, never felt a desire to have sex, and have always felt uncomfortable and grossed out by the idea of me having sex with somebody. I used to think I was broken, but then I found the term ‘asexual’.
What does asexual mean?
The term asexual, or ace, describes people who do not experience any sexual attraction or desire. Some people think that being asexual means you’re broken, that something bad has happened for you to not like sex, or that you’ll find the right person one day and have sex. This is not the case. Many asexual people go their entire lives without having sex.
Asexuality is a spectrum. It is just one sexual identity on the ace spectrum. Some ace people do experience some sexual attraction to varying degrees, each of which has a term.
The Ace Spectrum
There are a few terms used to describe different ace identities, some being:
Asexual: to describe someone who experiences no sexual attraction of desires at all. Some asexual people masturbate, watch and feel comfortable with porn and other sexual content.
Sex repulsed asexual: some asexual people feel disgusted at the idea of sex and don’t want to hear, see, talk, or think about sex at all. They may also not masturbate, or watch porn or other sexual content.
Greysexual: someone who rarely, or under certain circumstances, experiences sexual attraction.
Demisexual: a term used to describe someone who may experience sexual attraction towards somebody they have formed a strong emotional bond with. Some people argue that everyone is demisexual, however there is a difference between waiting to have sex and demisexuality. Many people wait until a certain point in their relationship to have sex but will feel sexually attraction during that time, whereas a demisexual person may not experience any sexual attraction at all until they have formed a strong emotional bond – which can take years.
My Experiences
Throughout my educational years, everyone around me has always talked about sex, masturbation, their first time, and their desire to one day have sex with someone they love and have children. However, I have never experienced this. I wondered for a long time why I was like this, if I was broken and whether I’d one day feel sexual attraction to someone. I have never masturbated or watched porn either, which reinforced the idea in my head that something was wrong with me. People told me that I’d find the right person one day, have sex, and have children, but I never felt this way. A couple of years ago, I came across the term ‘asexual’ which, after some research and talking to people online, allowed me to accept that having no sexual attraction and not wanting to have sex is okay.
If you do not want to have sex, masturbate, or watch porn, that is okay. You are not broken.