Hi! My name is Cameron and my pronouns are he/they. I am biologically female but identify as transmasculine. I am looking to medically transition using testosterone and gender affirming surgeries. I came out in November 2021 and have been discovering more and more about myself since.
What does ‘transgender’ mean?
The term ‘transgender’, or ‘trans’, refers to people whose gender differs from their biological sex. For example, they may have been assigned male at birth but identify as a woman. This would make them a transwoman. Often, those who are transgender experience gender dysphoria which is the feeling of unease and discomfort towards their body. Dysphoria can cause people to feel anger, disgust, and frustration towards their body, often resulting in poor mental health. Products such as binders (an item of clothing with compresses breast tissue) can massively improve a trans person’s wellbeing.
When did I realise I was trans?
Reflecting on my teenage years, I now realise there were numerous signs suggesting I was uncomfortable with my gender. I remember feeling extremely uneasy about wearing a bra and when I did, it felt wrong. There were periods where I found showering almost impossible because I felt disgusted and frustrated about what my body looked like, but I didn’t know what it was. During PE, I always felt out of place in the girls’ changing rooms and I didn’t want people to see my body. I used to shave my legs and underarms because everybody else did and I was a girl and that’s what girls are pressured to do by society. My biggest source of discomfort, however, were periods. I understood scientifically why they were occurring, but mentally I couldn’t understand why it had to happen. I always thought that menstruating was something that shouldn’t happen to me.
Throughout my teenage years, I was in denial about my sexuality too, so questioning my gender was too much. It took until my second year of university to really start considering my relationship with my gender and body. Only when a friend came out as non-binary did I tell somebody about my discomfort. I discussed my thoughts and worries with my best friend and flatmate who both supported me.
At first, I identified as genderfluid (when one’s gender varies over time) and experimented with different pronouns depending on how I felt each day. I then tried a different name to see how it felt. Eventually, I figured that I was transmasculine with the pronouns he/they and came out as Cameron.
How did I come out to family?
I came out to my family in November 2021. First, I came out to my immediate family. I did this by letter which I wrote one evening with the help of my flatmates. It took me around 15 minutes to put it in the letterbox because I was so anxious, but I was relieved once it was done. My advice to anyone who would like to come out is to only do so if it is safe and to people you trust. I came out to my best friend and sister first because I felt most comfortable telling them. In addition, you shouldn’t feel guilty for keeping it to yourself. You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to.
Where am I now and where do I want to be?
As of writing this, I have successfully socially transitioned (a term used to describe the social changes that someone goes through in their transition such as name, pronouns, and presentation). Now that I have a more positive relationship with my body and gender, I have been exploring my feminine side and have discovered that I love makeup – which is for everyone, no matter your identity. My mental health has also improved dramatically – I have experienced a lot of low mood, frustration, and depression due to my dysphoria. I hope to medically transition in the future with the help of HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and gender affirming surgeries.
Final thoughts...
I am extremely passionate about trans and LGBTQIA+ rights, politics, and wellbeing. During my time as Wellbeing Officer, one of my priorities is to improve the lives of transgender students. I want this blog to educate others and provide an insight into what it can be like being transgender.
Cameron Curry
2022/23 Wellbeing Officer